I can't breathe out the right side of my face
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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