I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Randomize