For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
