if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Randomize