just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize