she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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