we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
