your thong is hanging out like whoa
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
