like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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