sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
