Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
She announced her abortion via fbk
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
