I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
