I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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