Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize