Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
