Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
