just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
