did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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