Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
