i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize