There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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