The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
she peed on how many people?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Randomize
