I accidentally burped into my bong.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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