just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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