Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
