I want to have your abortion
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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