Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize