do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
