dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
