I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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