it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize
