I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
