she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize