Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
