glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
