Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
