I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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