He kissed a someone with a penis
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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