True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
where are my eyebrows?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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