There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
He better not be in your backpack
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
All the doctor said was why
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
