Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
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