He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
