i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
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