I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
