weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
someone owes me an orgasm
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
