I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
