I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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