I want to make a zoo with you.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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