I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize