Where is the hickey?
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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