i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
