end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
