I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
