its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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