somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
