You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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