Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
