he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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