I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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