I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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