I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
