and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
