On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
