They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
She told me I should be a condom model.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize