You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
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