oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize