They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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