WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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