No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
